Codependency recovery without dating online dating female bodybuilders
As my friend Kevin says, "When you get healthy, the sick get angry." I still panic that mitigating my codependent impulses will make me less successful professionally, since needing people's approval is historically what propelled me to work so hard.If I actually had self-esteem, would I ever work as hard again? Over the past five years, I've worked my ass off to re-parent myself and change the neural pathways that were crystallized as a child.That may sound weird to some people, but my default is to do about 90.I once heard a woman struggling with codependence share her goals for the holidays: "This year, I am going to do half of everything I think I should do: half the cooking, half the gift-buying, half the party-going." That sounds pretty simple, but for someone whose self-worth is contingent on others' approval, it's climbing Mount Everest.
Eventually I hit my codependent bottom when some family members got sick and I martyred myself to the point of getting pneumonia and NOT NOTICING I HAD IT because I was too preoccupied with other people's problems. I had heard about Al-Anon because I have a lot of addiction in my family and had gone a couple of times to try to manipulate other people into going.
I.e., if you're not going to make me feel bad, I'm going to be so nice to you that in comparison, you seem like you're an asshole. When my parents fought, I would put on improvised performances or fashion shows in our living room to try to distract them.
Fussing over narcissistic people was how I kept in their good graces and how I felt safe.
But the good news is you can buy me a cup of coffee.
Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another.
I would have to wait until you left to open it because I was so worried I wouldn't receive it well enough.