Dating a football player
Additionally, the ones that do have a personality are mad as a box of frogs, like Paolo di Canio and Cantona.
On the other hand, many footballers compensate for the vacuum where their personality should be by being crassly over-confident.
Something that I was never interested in suddenly became a huge part of my life -- games on weekends, conversations about fantasy football, and watching Madden during free time.
Footballers appear to treat monogamy the same way John Mc Cririck treats bathing - they're aware of it as a concept but deeply uncomfortable with it in practice.
From one point of view, you can hardly blame them - they're young, rich men guaranteed oodles of attention everywhere they go and their bad patter is no object to pulling, with women who might have ignored them a few years ago now hanging on to their every word like anarchists at a Noam Chomsky lecture.
Additionally, some of them are genuinely handsome - who wouldn't fancy a romp with Ronaldo or a fling with Figo?
What needs to be borne in mind, however, is that the majority of footballers are truly terrible people who would happily practice freekicks with the heads of tiny Romanian orphans without a flicker of remorse.
Balotelli - who has almost burned his house down with some fireworks, crashed a number of cars worth more than most people's annual salaries and broken into a women's prison in the last two years - just goes to show that dating a footballer might not be all its cracked up to be.