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e Harmony started in 2000, Ok Cupid in 2004, and more recently, a wave of mobile people-swiping apps, like Tinder and Hinge, have become wildly popular.But is this a positive development or something to be concerned about?And if it hasn’t happened to you yet, you can say “What’s wrong with these terrible people on these awful sites?” Or you can ask, “How can I make this work for me, despite the obvious flaws? But I’ll tell you, all it takes is one person – and you’ll be standing right with me.I just urge people to find some healthier perspective on the whole thing.A private client told me just this weekend that she’s quitting online dating after three bad dates in a row.And as you get into your mid-30’s, the bar scene is really old and set-ups have become a bit of a joke. But because it creates opportunity where previously there was none. My best friend in New York is marrying a man she met on e Harmony. My sister’s best friend is in love with a man she met on e Harmony. So as I see it, you have two choices: quit online dating and make a supreme effort to go to as many parties, coffee shops and adult education classes as possible OR try to find a way to avoid the worst of the online daters.While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. My first love, in 2003, was a Filipino woman that worked in the pharmaceutical industry and lived in a different part of town. I have dozens of clients who are married, engaged and in love with people they met online. So let’s acknowledge the flaws of online dating: the liars, the bores, the flakes, the crazies, the morons, the perverts, the poor spellers, and so on. The third, and most popular choice, is to quit and wait for your soulmate to drop out of the sky, like “The Secret” for love. Your best bet is to keep dusting yourself off, learning from your mistakes, and staying in the game. But sometimes, with enough perseverence (as well as luck, timing, a good profile and a positive attitude), you’ll fall in love.
He told me a story about a friend of his whose internet date had turned out to be morbidly obese as evidence that it was an avenue to be avioded at all costs.
Simply considered as online meeting people, it makes a ton of sense.
I’ve already expressed my argument for why in two posts: one on how critical it is to find the right life partner and how seriously we should take that quest, and another on why going to bars is a terrible life experience.
They don’t have time to “date around” several times a week.(actually neither would I). Women, being more vulnerable than men, are more hesitant to date online, so you get a situation where there’s a lot more men than women.
Aside from my own luck and the trendy radio ads and sexy commercials, it seems as if no one’s happy.
When I responded that a) There are worse things in life then having dinner with someone who you find unattractive, andb) His friend was at fault for not exchanging photos before meeting up he was totally unconvinced, and more then a tad miffed that i should question his judgement.