Ive been dating with
When I joined a dating site soon after relocating here, I learned that colorism was alive and growing in one of the most diverse cities in the world.I joined an online dating site because I liked the idea of a digital dating agent working on my romantic life while I was at work.I grew up constantly dreaming of a different life, a life where we were not the only black family in my town, a life where I could openly talk about my culture without isolating my peers — a life that couldn't be lived in my small town in New Hampshire.But as I later learned, colorism didn't just exist in places without people of color. Colorism is the principle that those with lighter, fairer skin are treated with a higher regard than those with darker skin, and it happens both between racial communities and within them.The cruel assumption was that for our light-skinned counterparts, life is filled with rainbows, freebies, and a shitload of opportunity.The idea is that white privilege can be extended to our light-skinned counterparts and that they do not face the same extent of important black issues such as police brutality or less opportunity for professional growth.
I began to notice colorism in my dating life and at my job.
I had never been too shy to make the first move and, since there is nothing to lose with online dating, I wasn't shy about messaging more boys more often. But then I began reading beyond the funny "what people notice first about you" blurbs.
Users could state their racial preferences in a partner, and even though you'd think people would be turned off by someone who said they only wanted to date certain races, most people included this info.
During the summers in my tween years, I would pile on several layers of SPF and avoid the sun as if vitamin D was a poison that would inevitably kill me.
While my classmates laid out in the sun, desperately trying to bronze their bodies, I found myself trying to do the opposite.
Once my eyes were open to a world of colorism outside the black community, thanks to online dating, it was incredibly hard not to notice the colorism within my community.